I’m a doer and it has led me to wrestle with God many times over the years. I relate well to Jacob who spent his life wrestling with God and man; he had some amazing promises from God, but he always sought to fulfil them in his own strength. Can you relate with this? I am (slowly) getting better at releasing my goals and plans over to God, waiting on His timing and I’m going to share with you a couple of reasons why.
One thing that has helped met to trust in Him is seeing His faithfulness – time and time again! Journalling is a great way of acknowledging His faithfulness and being able to look back on it, and stand firm on past experience, when the future seems uncertain. But another help has recently come in the form of seeing myself as a living conduit. I have this image of being a conduit of electricity. God is the current; He only asks that I be available and obedient.
He has me serving in East Africa in two capacities. The first is with establishing an NGO in the DRCongo, which does community development. I feel like I strive and strive to make things happen and then He answers my prayers through a completely different channel – His ministry, His way and in His time. Now that I have seen this, I am starting to relax and just be the conduit – allowing Him to do the work. The second is with pioneering the School of Biblical Studies in Kigali, Rwanda. Since signing up to be the school leader, I have felt that God is doing the work. He has set the time, He has given me an incredible staff team, and now I must wait on Him to bring the students.
Now, this is where another challenge comes in. I am waiting for Him to move. I feel His current flowing through me and I know that I am in the right location, but I cannot see the current, or the result of it. I want to receive student applications. I feel Him working, I’ve seen the staff sign up, but where are the students? I want to adjust my positioning. I am tempted to begin wrestling again, moving my angle in the hopes of picking up sight of the electric current. But why am I seeking a current when I can feel Him moving? Why do I want to readjust myself?
… Now a hope that can be observed is not really hope, for who hopes for what can be seen? But if we hope for what we do not yet observe, we eagerly wait for it with patience. In the same way, the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, since we do not know how to pray as we should. But the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words, and the one who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, for the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to God’s will. ( Romans 8:24-27)
If you, like me, are in a place of waiting on God, trust in these verses. If you know you are in the center of God’s will, if you can feel His current flowing, then stand firm. Do not be tempted to adjust your angle. Rather, rest in Him, seek time with Him, and allow the words of the Spirit to flow through you as you pray and intercede. Prayer is powerful. God is at work through your prayers. Though you cannot see Him moving now, trust Him to be at work. Take time to be with Him and acknowledge the feel of His current, even though it be unseen.